Top Tweets

• 1 Randazzoj: Something that would be really interesting to see in this day and age would be a self-important tech-industry person.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:07:11Z, 84% funny (26 votes) show
• 2 ConanOBrien: The Kindle 3 was released yesterday. I read about it on my iPad.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:34:46Z, 95% funny (20 votes) show
• 3 FakeAPStylebook: "Men's room" should contain an apostrophe. And a urinal.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:32:40Z, 86% funny (22 votes) show
• 4 ruthakers: My husband just became a fan of Glenn Beck on Facebook I just become a fan of divorce, single Moms, and pole dancing to support my future
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:32:41Z, 100% funny (15 votes) show
• 5 GaryJBusey: On the set of Lethal Weapon, I caught Mel Gibson cutting eye holes into some white sheets. He said it was to scare Glover. #filmconfessions
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:34:42Z, 78% funny (23 votes) show
• 6 StephenAtHome: Even The Real Housewives have been hit by the recession, having to settle for Bulgarian waxes. That's the one where they add hair.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:30:58Z, 93% funny (15 votes) show
• 7 NathanFillion: You might be creepy if: You are standing in the street video taping me tucking in my shirt while on location.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:31:27Z, 75% funny (16 votes) show
• 8 SustainableTips: America could get rid of its need for oil in months if all women agreed to only hookup with guys who drive electric cars
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 18:43:53Z, 78% funny (60 votes) show
• 9 Adjective_J: Her: You're shallow. Me: I can't pay attention to you, you're not hot enough.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 17:14:16Z, 74% funny (54 votes) show
• 10 devmorgan: After becoming a dad, my life includes 53% more excited poop related statements
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 20:11:12Z, 75% funny (44 votes) show
• 11 sheriffpony: "The study of beards is called pogonology." You've got to be kidding me, Wikipedia. I have a new calling.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 17:24:47Z, 65% funny (70 votes) show
• 12 sheriffpony: I REALLY wish I could go to Comic Con this year. Why? No Twilight
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 17:23:38Z, 63% funny (72 votes) show
• 13 hotdogsladies: MS Office only needs one tiny feature tweak to win me over—an indefatigable robot who stands by my desk, holding a gun to my head forever.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 23:32:58Z, 94% funny (19 votes) show
• 14 sheriffpony: Team Decent Literature
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 17:21:15Z, 65% funny (46 votes) show
• 15 sheriffpony: A black coworker of mine just called me Abraham Lincoln (on account of my beard). Not sure how to take that exactly..
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 17:20:53Z, 56% funny (69 votes) show
• 16 GaryJBusey: I'm glad parts of the Arizona Immigration Law were blocked because my hedges were starting to look like shit.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 14:27:38Z, 87% funny (66 votes) show
• 17 daudig: Protocol droid fluent in 6 mil languages discharged for violating DADT. #wookieleaks
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 16:33:17Z, 81% funny (70 votes) show
• 18 danforthfrance: BlackBerry, howsabout you go hourglassy on your own time.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 16:31:10Z, 88% funny (44 votes) show
• 19 Trick_or_tweet: I like my men like my Windows laptop: between my legs & constantly going down.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 14:30:07Z, 75% funny (62 votes) show
• 20 StephenAtHome: No more tax cuts for the wealthy! Oops - looks like my comma key wasn’t working for a second. I meant: No, more tax cuts for the wealthy!
  First Nominated: 2010-07-29 14:24:32Z, 72% funny (66 votes) show