Funniest Rated Tweets

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  ConanOBrien: An LSU professor has invented a remarkable cheap & effective homemade device that soaks up oil. It's called "Conan's face in high school".
  First Nominated: 2010-07-27 14:52:10Z, 73% funny (83 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: My tour has ended and I'm having trouble adjusting. I just screamed at my wife because she wouldn't let me sign her boob.
  First Nominated: 2010-06-15 16:10:49Z, 87% funny (48 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: I found a huge design flaw in my new iPhone. People get angry when I talk on it during a funeral.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-13 17:59:51Z, 90% funny (40 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: I am performing on the Jersey Shore tonight, so please only refer to me by my Jersey Shore nickname: "The Solution".
  First Nominated: 2010-05-31 14:38:01Z, 70% funny (71 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Starting to make big strides on the TBS show. We’re finally getting close to picking a host.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-28 17:30:22Z, 64% funny (101 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Our last casino show is tonight at Mohegan Sun, and I think it's finally time to do some REAL gambling: The seafood buffet.
  First Nominated: 2010-06-07 14:38:03Z, 93% funny (33 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: I'm in Washington DC tonight - both to do a show and to testify about my affair with a congressional page. Lucas, I'm so sorry.
  First Nominated: 2010-06-09 17:46:55Z, 78% funny (51 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Cable’s ability to attract top-tier talk show hosts continues. Welcome aboard, disgraced New York Governor Eliot Spitzer!
  First Nominated: 2010-06-26 18:55:52Z, 81% funny (44 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: This laptop is hot on my legs. I shall invent a space age Kevlar pad that protects my legs from heat. Or maybe I'll just put on pants.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-06 16:04:48Z, 76% funny (51 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Congratulations to Spain on their World Cup victory! May the streets run red with blood-orange sangria and ham!
  First Nominated: 2010-07-12 16:59:49Z, 73% funny (57 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Don’t underestimate the influence of the World Cup. I’m already adding a vuvuzela section to our TBS band.
  First Nominated: 2010-06-24 16:37:51Z, 75% funny (53 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Looking forward to watching Mad Men tonight. Christina Hendricks is the second sexiest redhead in Hollywood. Congrats, Ron Howard!
  First Nominated: 2010-07-25 17:52:01Z, 69% funny (66 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: The Kindle 3 was released yesterday. I read about it on my iPad.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-30 14:34:46Z, 59% funny (133 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: The courts have slashed FCC policy, relaxing the ban on TV profanity. Coming this Fall to TBS: "Conan's G*d Damn F***ing Sh*t A**hole Hour".
  First Nominated: 2010-07-14 19:02:12Z, 85% funny (35 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Baskin-Robbins will be cutting 5 ice cream flavors at the end of July. Farewell, "Cadaver Chunk."
  First Nominated: 2010-07-22 17:21:20Z, 65% funny (78 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Larry King’s retiring after hosting “Larry King Live” for 25 years. Personally, I think hosting anything longer than 7 months is overkill.
  First Nominated: 2010-06-30 19:10:32Z, 75% funny (48 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Twilight Eclipse has been smashing box office records since it opened. For the record, I was sickly pale before it was cool.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-02 17:33:15Z, 74% funny (47 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Today I am in San Francisco, where I will be honored with the 2010 Tribute Award at Sketchfest. I am getting laid tonight!
  First Nominated: 2010-07-17 22:26:45Z, 76% funny (42 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: There may not be a Smog Alert issued in Los Angeles today, but I am issuing something far worse: a Smug Alert. Celtics will take game 7.
  First Nominated: 2010-06-18 15:23:04Z, 71% funny (46 votes) show
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  ConanOBrien: Today's the 25th anniversary of "Back to the Future" - The movie that popularized DeLoreans, Flux Capacitors, & almost nailing your own mom.
  First Nominated: 2010-07-03 19:41:14Z, 73% funny (38 votes) show